Then one day my faith was gone when I saw the Watchtower as it truly is. An unfeeling cult and an evil publishing corporation. I was devastated. All the years my folks had put into learning the so-called truth and raising me in the organization had been a complete and total waste of time and an utter loss to me.
I was ashamed of being so totally fooled and for having hurt members of my family who had been shunned by the organization because they simply questioned the teachings of this group of men. Besides that I didn't know where to go because I felt like there must be no God and I sank into an ever deepening depression.
Finally I decided to open up the Bible alone and not use any of the watchtower Society's Bible filtering literature and pray to God for the Holy Spirit to open my eyes so I could understand what HIS WORD was trying to do with me.
I abandoned the Watchtower's false Jesus who they claim is Archangel Michael and their false Gospel and I accepted the Jesus of the Bible into my heart and gave myself totally over to Him as His slave. My eyes have been opened and I am now saved by the Grace of God through the shed Blood of our Lord Jesus.
My ministry as a jw was always hit and miss and I never felt like I was ever doing enough due to the hounding of the elders. I also never felt like I could wholeheartedly teach anyone without holding back some of the truths about their truth that were never to be disclosed before the person was already in so deep that they had nowhere else to go.
Today after about 8 months as a Christian minister I am happy in my service to my Lord and my community. I help spread the Word of GOD and I also share anti-cult information and minister to Jehovah's Witnesses to expose the false teachings of the Watchtower Society so they might have their eyes opened by Christ Jesus and come to our Lord for sayings of everlasting life.
So, in a nutshell, when I feel like my faith is gone I reach way down and find a way to kneel and approach my loving Father in heaven and tell HIM that I NEED HIM. I NEED HIS help, His hand on my shoulder, and His Spirit to keep me strong and to be able to endure the ugly things and distractions of this old and dying world.